My REAL spending attitude

OK, today I finally realized that what I thought I was doing and what I was actually doing were quite different. Thank you God for creating circumstances that showed this to me plain as day. I thought I was frugal and I am in many ways. We live in a mobile home, we don't have cable, we don't have a land line, I know all the frugal tips, I have a fancy cash flow budget, etc, etc.

This month was really lean. We had lots of extra expenses and a low cash flow time - oh I LOVE bi-weekly paychecks. It wasn't awful though, nothing we couldn't take in stride. Then we had part of two of our windows literally fall out. oh I LOVE living in a mobile home. We had to do something as the weather is turning colder and there is only one pane left in these windows. We decided to go ahead and get them. We put them on our regular credit card (we put everything on our card and then pay it off every month). Then we made a pledge we would keep our credit card to the regular set budget amount, despite putting $400 of windows on it.

So here's what I learned when I actually had to be super frugal in order to make it this month.
1. I was going out and about (running errands) at least once a week. Each time I get into my van I've basically spent a minimum of $20. So, the three week time period that I had to be oh so careful, I went shopping once, resisted all temptation to go anywhere that I didn't need to, and we lived just fine. I thought I was the master of errand combining, living in such a rural area, but I learned I can cut it down a lot more.
2. I can save lots more on groceries. I buy many things in bulk when it is in season and freeze. I use it all, but I buy lots of groceries too. I think I buy too many. I have been extra careful to only buy what I need, budget EACH little item, and cook from what I've got. I've simplified our meals a lot. I'm not sure if my husband likes this, but he'll live with it.
3. The little things do matter and add up. I guess I knew this, but didn't put it into practice. If I can go to the grocery store and spend less than I planned, that's extra for savings or paying off debt. If I get a refund check (which I just did), it will go directly to savings. I can figure out how to live without the cash and depositing it into checking.

Here are a few of my new practices and goals.
1. Limit all grocery and Wal-Mart visits to $60 max. This way I really have to pear down my list and only get what is really important.
2. Evaluate each item on my list. Sometimes this is tedious when there is lots to get, but hey, maybe I won't want to get so much stuff then!
3. One errand trip every 2 weeks, no more. My husband can pick up milk if I need it.
4. Spend $200 less each month on the credit card. There is not much we can do about gas, but I think we can cut down everything else.
5. Any check we get goes into savings. Expense checks, refunds, paybacks from family/friends...whatever, it all goes in.

Well, there are my financial lessons learned. Now when Dave Ramsey says spend each penny on paper BEFORE you spend it for real, I actually get it. (Yes, I do live in a mobile home and use a credit card and listen to Dave Ramsey.) :)

The Missing Discipline Element

So, I've felt something missing from my discipline tactics for my 4 year old for a while now, but couldn't figure out what it was. I found my answer at Sunday School this last Sunday. We started our first Sunday with new curriculum. The curriculum, called Faith Weavers, teaches everyone from nursery to adult from the same Bible story and theme. Our story was David and Bathsheba and the topic was forgiveness and redemption. I'm in the parenting class where we talk about how we can teach this stuff to our kids as well as what we can learn about it ourselves. In our talking our teacher gave several examples of his disciplining his kids and it just clicked. Prayer! I've never had Ellie pray and ask Jesus to forgive her and change her heart when she does wrong. This is of course what I should be doing, but a side benefit is that Ellie has an intense desire to always be right. This should help humble her and help her be more willing to admit her mistakes. I tried it today and it seemed to be quite effective. Now I just need to stay consist ant with it, and we will hopefully see some improvement!

Importance of Games for Young Children

Today Ellie and I played a very simple game that's basically matching a few number and color cards to the numbers and colors on a spinner. It was fun for both of us. I originally picked it out thinking that it may get her started in recognizing some of her numbers, but we are getting much greater benefit out of it. She is learning how to both win and lose. After she won one game she was absent-mindedly repeating "I won, I won". I explained how that did not make others feel well if they had just lost. It was a good lesson to learn in a very non-threatening manner. She just wanted to know why someone would feel bad and then stopped. She didn't even realize she was saying it, yet she could have started on a bad habit if it hadn't been stopped. Parenting is always interesting.

TVs influence on kids

Ellie has a new friend! She finally warmed up to our dog Hunter. She went from being terrified of even being outside when the dog was loose to hugging him in one day. So what made this change? A movie.

We watched "Because of Winn Dixie" for our weekly family movie night. This is an excellent book and movie about a young girl who takes in a stray dog and the influence that the dog has on her and the community. The girl takes care of the dog and talks about the dog being her best friend.

The next day Jeremy was working on the campground and took Ellie along with him. He encouraged her to let the dog come with. First he taught her to ignore Hunter and how then the dog would ignore her. So she went along with it and sure enough, the dog ignored her. Well, soon she wasn't happy about that and was calling him over to play with him. And just like that, they were best friends. Now she is asking to go outside and play with the dog every chance she gets.

My lesson in all of this is how much of an inpact what we watch has on her. Just one movie, just an hour and a half, just one family movie night, changed her attitude about the dog (and probably dogs in general) for life.

So I have to ask what would happen if I let her watch whatever she wanted? So many shows and movies have subtle things that as adults we don't think much about, but may be having a horrible influence on our children. Movies/TVs often feature sassy kids, no respect for adults, poor parent/child relationships.

I do guard very closely what my children watch. We don't watch much more than the family movie night. The thing I've learned most from this is to watch out as Paul gets older. Ellie is so sensitive that I am VERY careful of what we watch so that she doesn't get scared. But Paul is another story. He is willing to watch anything. So I believe I will need to tread carefully here. I will continue to pick up movies whenever I can find them for cheap at garage sales and the like so that we have a good supply of things to watch that I can preview if necessary.